I have spent the last 22 months laughing off those who tell me people can't change. That anything I'm doing is for naught. Today, for the first time, I began to think that maybe they are right.
We've been running a summer camp for 11th & 12th class students. A lot of the students are extremely intelligent and show potential. In spite of the fact that they are a rowdy group, I have been able to convince myself that these students are not taking advantage of us; that they are not there for "time pass".
I think I ran out of steam. A group of the "Bhaktavpura Boys" showed up at a screening of Sholay that we hosted. It was nice to see them there. Like I said, they have impressed me. But, as I stepped out to get something to eat, I saw them hanging out in their jeep - something that usually indicates an "up to no good" activity. I can't explain why I couldn't rationalize their behavior. I forgot that they are 17 year old boys; that they still have time to "grow up." All I know is that any good feelings I had accumulated from the past week quickly escaped, leaving me deflated. Any belief that I had held on to; any hope that I had that we could change the direction of their lives - gone.
And because I'm so emotionally invested; because I know what they are capable of, it hurts.
I had big dreams for them.
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